Life as the Benson's: HI Ho ...A Ranching we will go...

I must admit. I feel a bit like the Pioneer Woman when I was out on the Ranch this past weekend. While I don't LIVE on a ranch ... I grew up on a moderately ranchy - mixed farm .. where cows were BY FAR my favorite thing about it! So --- I like to go back home every spring and fall - and pretend - for just a short little time ... that I am a rancher.

Nothing more hilarious that Ree Drummonds vivid and witty accounts of ranchlife. Go to the link above ... you'll get a kick out her - I promise. Not a day goes by that I don't read about Ree's life ... and secretly wish I had a little (read: HUGE) ranch .. except for the 4 AM part ... oooo ... that is UGLY!

Back to the story at hand. This weekend was working CALVES...down at the Wallace Ranch in Endiang ... that's right ... I said Endiang ...

Mother Nature was totally PMS'ing .... I mean ... she was pissed. She was a full-blown emotional wreck .. blowing, crying, shivering, pouring, howling ... and that was just in the morning!

I have a confession to make. We don't have any horses. We never have had any horses. Well .. besides Ellie ... where I learned to ride ... she never went faster than a slow walk. I sold her after a year. Not fast enough. And I didn't like the added chores. HEy ... at least I'm honest.

So, I like to refer to ourselves as MODERN ranchers. You know ... with the steel equipment. The electric branding irons. The quads. The TIPPING table. Nope - no wrestling for us! Taking advantage of modern conveniences ... that's what I'l tell Ree Drummond when she asks anyways :)

This is the calf chute. It Tips. It Rocks. It's Yellow.

The "Uh Oh" Table. You guessed. How can I go a whole calf post without mentioning what acutally happens. :( Bye Bye Gonads. This is where my Uncle Randy - a highly skilled castration machine - cuts out the manhood from almost all the little boy calves. You'll thank him tonight when you're eating that juicy steak. Thoes don't happen with Gonads. I'll explain later.

I'll give you 10 bucks if you guess what this does.

This is Dean-o. He is the new kid on the block ... in the family kind of sense. Only because my momma - or a relative thereof ... did not give birth to him ..

He and my handsome husband were responsible for bringing the calves into the chute ... and loading it up ... and holding them there. Holding them there. Easier said than done. They both have some pretty brag-worthy bruises to proves that holding calves in a chute - easier said than done.

This is where the magic happens. OR at the very least - baby boy calves lose their manhood .... Let's get this show on the road!

Calves go in ....

Calves Get Tipped ...

And Snipped ....

And Recorded...

And then we break ... for sodas ...

Whle we break .... this little dude/dudette awaits her fate in the tipping chute ...

And a momma surveys the crowd ... making sure her little one is behaving!

And this little first time momma is traumatized by the whole damn thing .... and very skeptical of the girl with a camera ...

Alas ... we finish with good time ... and we aren't too worse for wear ... there is one tiny little problem left ....

How to dispose of the "gonads" ...

The boys ... they like to throw them at people in some kind of sick game of "Tag" ...

Or they hang them from "city folks" tailpipes ...

Or ... they eat them!!!

Note: No actual gonads were eaten in the taking of these photos!!

Check these "cowboys" out ... they have been frineds for years ... don't judge ... but doesn' the one on the left look a little off to you?? Ahhh .. who am I kidding ... I am related to one, married to another ... and living with the third ... so I am likely as "off" for loving all three of them!